Close to home

A few months ago I blogged about Morgan Dana Harrington, a Virginia Tech student who went to a Metallica concert, and through a series of unfortunate events, also went missing.

Today, they found Morgan's body, in a field 10 minutes from the concert venue.

Now, I am no reporter... I am sure this thing will end up in Google alerts or something because of her name or because of VT. Fine. I am not stating anything new, that I haven't read myself about this story.

I have a very, very heavy heart and so much sorrow for the Harringtons and Morgan's loved ones.

And also, I am filled with gratitude that I have been able to do what it is I do without harm coming to me.
No one has hurt me and from about this time last year until October 25th (exactly) I gave them plenty of chances to do just that.
Not since then though.
I thank Morgan for that.

I go to concerts alone all the time.
I wear tight(ish) jeans, band shirts, lots of eye makeup and most of the time, my long blonde hair down.
I am friendly and flirtatious.
And I drink.

Whatever, whoever has looked out for me, and has helped me get through some of the tight spots I have been in in the past year, thank you.

This isn't an insecurity issue. Trust me, I have one hell of a punch. And kick. My mom has said to me many, many times "I feel really sorry for the person that ever tries to attack you, sweetie."
I am not afraid. And this isn't a trust issue.

This is a safety issue. This story was a wake up call for me.
And as I have said many times about many things, how many times does the snooze alarm have to go off before you just get the fuck out of the bed?

RIP Morgan. You and I are connected, I have learned from you.

on Pause...

Pause is a very useful button in media.
Gives you a minute to go to the bathroom, answer the phone, write down a song or a quote, whatever.

I am currently on pause. And I hate it.
But it is a necessary break, and I have enjoyed moments of it. I'm not sitting around getting fat (actually the opposite...I want my spring abs, folks), but I am taking in quite a few movies and planning the craziness that will be Feb. - the summer.

This pause mode has also allowed for the clarification process to step in a bit - something I tend to ignore completely and just do shit whether it is clearly a good idea or not. But being on pause, I have had plenty of time to think.
I am a smart chick, thinking is not foreign to me...but thinking instead of impulse is not generally my bag.

Some of this thought has given me...wait for it...direction (!!!) in a few areas of my life. One of those areas is this bloggy, video, side business thingy I have been trying to really sell to myself most of the time. And I am about 98% sure (because an unfortunate side effect of being impulsive is losing a few percentage points of certainty over the years...) I have found THE thing that I want to do with this whole experience.

I love taping bands, and promoting artists and will never NOT do that. But the side of this that is fascinating to me is the much more personal side of it. And trust me when I say, I have years of varied experience with the personal side of this.

I came up with a new business card slogan, are you ready for this??

"Yes, those are real.
Yes, that is natural.
And that is never fake...but you will probably never know that.
And why the fuck does it even matter who I am with?"

But seriously folks, I am taking a different focus with this thing. And I need your help.

If you haven't read my Facebook and Twitter "advertisements", here is the plea:

I am looking to hear about your BEST fan experience.
Music, sports, theatre, silly, sexual, intense...but POSITIVE.
Your absolute best time being a fan of whatever you are a fan of.

SO...respond here, or send me an email at ashokie365 (at) yahoo (dot) com

I promise the results of this "research" are going to be very cool. I have gotten some really great stories so far...and now I need yours.

kthx.
xo,
Ash

hang with me folks...

I am shifting focus again.

at some point this picture will be clear...

2010, I have a feeling you might be "it".